I think I’m going to build the First Church of the Big Dick. Seriously. And I’ll be like the Pope, but female and able to have sex. In fact, I’d insist on it for all my congregation! All the women will be saved by the discovery of BIG DICK in their lives, and the men will worship too, so we can watch a little guy-on-guy action.
I’d be all, “We are gathered here today to give witness to big fucking dick.” And then like a row of big black cock would line up at the altar and we’d have communion, with everyone on their knees taking the big dick on their tongue and ALWAYS swallowing. Holy hell, that’s hot. And then we’d sing.
I’m thinking services should be twice a week. We could pass around a plate and all the little dick fetish boys would have to contribute to keeping the church going, because what else are they good for? Oh! And for confession they could totally suck on the smallest strap-ons ever made, just so they know what we have to deal with when we get little dicks in our faces and are expected to make them pop.
And then, I’d read some scripture, probably something from Penthouse, maybe have some women (and pantyboys!) testify about how Big Cock changed their lives. And then we’d sing again.
And as the congregation filters out, phone numbers will be exchanged.
And we’ll have revivals, going from town to town, having a massive big dick orgy in the revival tent!! And bringing the town’s big dicked men to the prominence they so deserve, and the women the orgasms that they need.
But don’t ask me to turn a little cock into a big one. That would take a miracle.
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